She's been warned

So I finally made myself listen to Jaime's Soul Mate Manifesto. Now, I had been putting it off for one reason: I knew once I actually heard it that I would be forced to do something about it and in turn become increasingly pushy and obnoxious to my dear and darling friend.

So here we are. I've heard it and it's FABULOUS. Jaime never ceases to amaze me with her insight, she is always teaching me something.

And now I'm gonna have to get all obnoxious and tell everyone else about The Soul Mate Manifesto. So if you haven't heard it, you should. Imagine your smartest, kindest, in-tunest (I know it's not a word...), and most productive conversations you have with your closest friends, then organize it and break it down into a fun and simple step-by-step process and you have what Jaime has created with The Soul Mate Manifesto.

Ok, I'm done for now...but consider yourselves warned as well.

Do Nothing. Time is too precious to waste. - Buddha

Sunday morning I supplemented my usual church service with meditation and a class at the Kanzeon Zen Center with Genpo Roshi who developed the Big Mind concept - you can read about it on their website. (Don't fret my darling Mormon friends, I went church later!)

First of all, meditating with a group is SO much easier. A solid 30 minute meditation is usually difficult for me to do. I get restless, my mind gets louder and louder, I get persistent itchy spots where they didn't otherwise exist, my right foot always falls asleep, I suddenly develop Spidey Sense and can hear EVERYthing, etc. But in a group of probably 80 people or so, it's manageable. And even enjoyable. I'm even entertaining the idea of going to the morning sittings before work (which is pretty ambitious considering I'm already getting up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym before work as it is).

------ two hour break and loss of my train of thought ------

So...Zen...meditation...it's good. I'm gonna do more of it. I recommend it.

Monkey Mind

I have a million thoughts running through my mind today. Among them:

1. I'd like to go to Harvard.
2. I think I ought to have been born in New England.
3. I want to do something of significance...something big.
4. How do I figure out what that something big be?
5. I meditated this morning for 30 minutes...I could definitely be better at it.
6. I was all Zen this morning...since I was at a Zen center.
7. Now I'm the opposite of Zen...whatever that is.
8. What can I change about myself to improve my relationships?
9. What is self-love for me?
10. I'm kind of lousy at self-love, I'll work on being better at it.
11. Debt sucks and is kind of debilitating.
12. I'm pretty smart.
13. I don't use my brain enough though.
14. I hate clutter and confrontation.
15. I'm starting to hate clutter more than confrontation.
16. I like alone time. A lot. It's when I recharge and balance.
17. I wish I had more time to do more things that seem bigger than the day-to-day.
18. But Life is the day-to-day.
19. I should work on enjoying each moment...because moments make lifetimes.
20. I wish I could get my brain the shut up. Seriously.

Arrgh!

BE HERE NOW.

Ups and Downs

So it was my birthday this weekend. Birthdays are emotional in general for me, so I braced myself. There were highs and lows and let myself be in both. So when I felt terrible, I just embraced it and felt really terrible. When I felt great it was a pointed, shiny greatness, the kind that hums.

I was feeling fantastic on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday morning...I have great friends, I live in a beautiful place, I have a good job, I live in abundance, I'm healthy, I have good hair ;)...then self-pity snuck up on me and sucker punched me right in the face!

So I was in a slump for a few days. But I just let myself be in it. I didn't entertain all the crummy thoughts I could have...but I let myself feel bad...cause I wanted to.

But THEN! It went away. I mean nothing has changed, but I just feel better. I dunno, I guess it just helps to remind myself of the impermanence of moods and feelings and situations. The whole "this too shall pass" bit. It's really true. Thank goodness for that.

Catharthis

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone..."

If I am going to use "rain" as a metaphor for the past few weeks, it would be more appropriate to say that "I can see clearly now the terrential downpour is gone..."

The month of August was a time to face fears, be in the pain, and to truly grow. Times like these are appropriately called "growth periods." They are the times in your life when you feel like s*&% and when "thinking positive" makes you want to hit someone. These times, as hard as they are and as awful as you feel when you are in them, are the golden times for personal development... that is, if you embrace them.

It is not realistic nor is it healthy to tell yourself that "Life is fantastic" when you feel like "Life is difficult," but it is both realistic and healthy to tell yourslef that "Life is a journey, and this moment, however rough, is a part of that journey. In this difficult phase of my life, if I am aware and not attached to my pain, I can grow and I will be a more evolved person for going through this s*&%!!!

So, this past month I've learned a valuable lesson in letting go of resistance to pain and discomfort. I sat with it. Looked at it. Felt it. Learned from it. And, then.... it was gone.

Now, everything seems new and fresh. I am looking at life with more clarity and even more optimism than I already had. Catharthis is the best word to describe what it feels like to emerge from a growth period. Catharthis as defined by Merriam-Webster is "a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension."

Next time you find yourself in doosey of a growth period... think CATHARTHIS... it may help you get through it with less resistance :)

Sometimes life is full of little adventures :)

B.L.A.S.T.

Bored
Lonely
Angry
Stressed
Tired

I heard today that these are the most common ailments that face my peers. I can certainly relate. I think to that so many of them are a choice though - which is not to discount the validity of people's feeling. I just mean...I've felt all of those things -who hasn't?- but when I make a conscious and concerted effort to change my perspective those things pass away...or at least get smaller and more manageable.

But sometimes life sucks and that's real.

But it's certainly not permanent. I really believe that all of our hardships are for our good if we let them strengthen us.

So let's see what we can do to help others feel less bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired - because we've all been there...and hopefully in the meantime we'll feel less of those things ourselves.